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There is one aspect of the bungie.net chatroom that I still find
irritating and infuriating. No,
I'm not talking about disguised campers. I'm not refering to the
fact that you can't see who is
in which game before you pick one. I'm not even talking about the
way bungie.net insists on
replacing duplicate colors from such a hideous pallette. No, I am
talking about the ugly,
garrish, ridiculous, annoying and sometimes offensive names that
people choose. Your name is
your identity, your reputation, your first impression and your
lasting legacy, put some thought
into it. Don't just pick the first word your eyes happened to land
on in the "Glossary of
Fantasy Nouns" Here is a list of some of the types stupid or
irritating names that people have
chosen. If your name fits into one of the following categories, I'm
sorry if I have insulted you,
but the truth must be heard.
ASCII saturated - Alright, if you want to put a slash
through an "o" or have a beta instead
of a "b," go for it. But it is beyond irritating to have to read
$Ýê\/Æ every
single time I glance at a list of players. Not to mention the fact
that some of these types of
names are completely inpronouncable. Do you really want to be known
as "The player formerly
known as eliminated" or simply "Squiggles?"
The Character - Don't take this the wrong way, literary
references are great choices for
names. But if I see one more main character from an Eddings or
Feist novel, I will scream! Main
characters have exstensively documented histories, they have lots of
baggage attached to them and
they do not make good names. I know, you like the character, you
obsess about the character, you
wish you were that character...well get over it! Any character
whose name appears on the cover
blurb is off-limits. Therefore, it is cool to be Tom Bombadill,
Amos Trask, Greldik or
Wierzbowski, but it is lame to be Frodo, Milamber, Belgarath or
Ripley. Yes, I know Case
was a majopr character in a fantastic novel, but the nickname comes
from a completely different
source. And don't try to tell me that people have been calling you
Darth Vader since childhood.
Phreaks - Okay, I'm really impressed that you have
incredible hacking talent and
of course I am sure that you have penetrated the CIA mainframe, but
I don't need to see
anymore of SuPeRgEEk, Mr. fonetikly or irrit8. It is so early 80's
I keep thinking that I'm
in a Hollywood techno-thriller.
Religious Figures - Sure, Vishnu is a cool sounding name,
but to some people Vishnu is
an object of religious worship, so please, be considerate and
thoughtful of people's sincere
beliefs.
I am a position - I'm sure that you are very devoted to
increasing the public's
awareness of the horrible dangers that email viruses pose to the
global economy, but your name
is not a billboard. Names like "'Ware the Good Times Virus," "God
drives a Yugo" or "Eat at
Joes" are a waste of bandwidth, so leave your banners and picket
signs at the door (this includes
OS preferences, you zealot!)
****'n ****head *****er - Luckily, profanity does not seem
to be a problem on bungie.net...
let's keep it that way.
-Case
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